


Anything But Red and Pink

by runicmagitek



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Valentine's Day Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 09:38:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3351866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runicmagitek/pseuds/runicmagitek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard explains Valentine's Day to Garrus</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anything But Red and Pink

**Author's Note:**

> for an anon request on tumblr

“I don’t know what it is with you humans and advertisements, but if I never have to look at another shade of red or pink again, I wouldn’t be missing anything.”

Garrus’ random comment nearly had Shepard cracking up. The Valentine’s Day marketing ploy made its way to the Citadel, thanks to human efforts. Earth might have been fighting against Reapers, but capitalism was still milking everyone of their money, regardless where in the galaxy they were. Typical.

But the Turian found the fault in his words and glanced to Shepard right as she raised an eyebrow. “I mean,” he stammered out, “ _yours_ is the only exception.” And he gestured to her red, chin-length hair.

“Glad to hear it,” she shot back. “Don’t think I’ve ever kicked someone off my ship over insulting my hair before.”

“Well, there’s a first for everything,” Garrus replied, “but I’d like to not add _that_ to my track record. Color preferences aside, what is all this fuss about? I keep seeing flowers and chocolates transported around. Where are people even finding these things? Good men and women are dying and this is all people care about?”

“It’s an Earth tradition.” Shepard paused. “Both the holiday _and_ the not caring bit.”

Garrus blinked. “...a _holiday_?”

“Valentine’s Day.”

“And it involves red and pink and flowers and enough fluff to make everyone in the galaxy wish your people never found the Mass Relays?”

“Close; it’s about love.” Before Garrus could make another snarky remark, Shepard expanded. “Couples do things for one another, like go out for dinner or buy each other gifts. It’s a token of affection. Most peg it to be a marketing ploy, which is mostly true, but there’s no harm in exchanging gifts.”

“Suppose not.” Garrus hesitated before returning to his work. “...are you trying to drop me a hint?”

She tilted her head to the side, biting back the smirk she wanted to flash across her face. This was going to be priceless. “What do you mean?”

“Romance, gifts, flowers… all things I’m not exactly… good at.”

“You can be romantic.”

A full blown laugh erupted from him. “A Turian’s idea of giving a gift to the one he admires would be on par with dropping a dead rival’s head in said lover’s bed to find upon waking up.”

“You sure that’s not a Krogan tradition?”

“No, they fight over _who_ gets to sever the head.” While Shepard chuckled, Garrus continued. “I’d gift wrap you the Illusive Man’s head, bow and all, but even _I’m_ not that good.”

“I appreciate the thought.” And she kept giggling.

“...what?”

“No, it’s just funny.”

Garrus braced himself. “Oh?”

“The only thing I can think of back on Earth that would leave anything dead in my bed would be a cat.”

“...you mean those fluffy creatures with knives attached to their hands?” Shepard nodded. “We should all be thankful they don’t know how to use sniper rifles.”

Though when Shepard woke up on Valentine’s Day, her eyes focused upon a new figure on her nightstand. One of a grey tabby cat plush with a box of truffles at its feet. A note was left with the gift that read:

_It’s not a head in a box, but it’s the next best thing I could do. I blame you for this, but I don’t regret it. No knives on the hands. I checked._

_-Garrus_

_PS - the shop girl insisted I buy chocolates. I insisted that she not put a pink ribbon on it._


End file.
